THE SHADOW OF THE WIND. A REVIEW. OF LOVE AND JOURNEY.

There are different kinds of books, Those that guide you in Life, those that get you self introspecting, those that make you emotional, those that inspire you, those that receive your admiration and love, And even some that get you snoring over the book.

I am, though a vivid reader and in company of some novel all the time, not the literary expert. Pure fiction lover, with a happy ending note.

The day when Daniel (in the story) chose the "Shadow of the Wind by Julian Carax" from the cemetry of forgotten books and got adopted by the same, I was sure that similar fate awaited me with "The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruis Zafon".

Every day, when i touch the book and read and live through the words, I feel (and still remember the feel) a unique sense of belonging.

Proud Owner Of the Masterpiece.

Every morning I would rush to the bus, get myself a comfortable corner seat and dive into the world.

Every Night, till late I would turn through the pages and stay glued to the book with a fatal attraction.

And Every time there would be a regretful act of closing the book with a rude snap from the Trance.

Furthermore, I would catch myself going reverse in pages, sometimes to reread and get a full feel of the moments, and other times out of fear of missing the lines and in turn the feel.

Basically, all of us dread a disappointment, a betrayal of perfection, in every story be it a movie or a book. Similarly even i was bound by the fear of losing the love for the book, which i had been garnering for days, to the climax.

But then I wouldn't have asked for more apt end than this.

Even a week after the final showdown, I still feel that I am walking through the streets of  Spanish Downtown, hand in hand with Daniel, Carax, Fermin, Sempere and others. And I just don't stop from taking the book and skimming through my favourite conversations over a cup of tea.

All i know is that the book has got me right well, And I have built a new world to relive.

As for the REVIEW, Carlos has done a beautiful work in portraying each and every character, making a sketch in our minds.

His Choice of words is a class apart and keeps the life in the story going on and even after the story is over.

The book keeps us bound to it with the events of twists and turns and ties a knot with our Hearts making it to render to each character.

Just as Carlos pointed out, this story is more like a split of one thing into million reflections, a fission of one story into thousands. Every turn of a page we discover smiles as well as tears, Joy as well as heaviness.

This may have been an exaggerated review for few, but then it is purely my take of the Book and I would recommend to anyone coming across.

Fiction lovers out there, You will just Love it. And Do give me a Hi-five below if you have been nodding all along the way.

Also, If any of you have similar bondings with some book in your lives then mention it below. :-) Who knows, I would also create another world of it. 

A Broken Feather, And With it I would Write a Love Song.

Scuba Diving!

If I hadn't gotten  myself into certain commitments, who knows, I might have gone exploring the lost sunken worlds in oceans, and measuring the depths of Blue Universe. Commitments, something which we tend to avoid at all costs, for the Fear of responsibilities. Though unknowingly, we tend to drag many to ourselves.

I remember this girl from my school. Her entire Life then revolved around a single word, Dance. But her life didn't quite turn out the way which many, almost all of them who knew her back then, had envisioned.

Life keeps changing. Unpredictable moments come and go by. Diverted journeys. Lost people. Misleading views. Confusing mirages. 

One of the favourite conversations that i pick up with people is getting them to casually talk about their forgotten lives. It is something which i could share in common with anybody in the world. A Broken wing.

Their indefinite love for the same would be much evident in the way they start expressing themselves. Some sort of Trance. But before they finish talking about it, they fear of regret and losing the cool would cloud their minds.

Bird-Watch, NL.

Well, all of us have some regret, And it is certainly not the mistake of ourselves or any of the decisions we made.

It is actually Human Nature. 

I'm unsure of terming it with an apt word. (Suggestions welcome.) We could for now describe as Curiosity coupled with a positive imagination. Confused right? 

Here is the thing. We are never wholly satisfied with our present, and we try to ponder over our past as to where we had taken the turn that landed us here, And analyse the alternate turns and the differences it would have made.

Funnily, Our optimistic mind comes into action, imagining the best situation, probably with a high presence of the one or few things amiss the current reality.

Sometimes, I find myself regretting on Life. And Sometimes, Letting things happen in the "destined" way without much concern on practicality. But then, I suppose, Whatever happens, We must be self-forgiving, patient, and Strong to keep walking on.

As for the girl, I am unaware of her inner feelings, though she has managed to survive the broken dream, lost love and a regretful decision. And the best thing, she still wears the million dollar smile on her face.

Now that's what I would call INSPIRING!

Long way to go. Inner Joy helps.

Find Happiness and Joy in everyday Life, Cos' this Life is also a "Positive Dream", the dream of the Turn we really took.

A BLANK STATE.

It would strike midnight in few minutes. I am tired. So tired that I am unable to move a limb, or think. In search of Sleep. 

Yes. Past three days, I would have slept for a total of 5 hours. 5/36, sounds worse. Yet I am not able to make myself to get some sleep. A state, where i show a zero percent reaction. Nightmares, Confusions, Sadness, Sickness. 

Is this what they call as "Insomnia"? 

I have lot of stories going on in my mind. All a sudden dive into writing. Yet I am not strong enough to think, phrase and pen down.

I deserve the pain I am in. The pain of guilt.

I keep wondering every time as to how difficult things happen in life, since I am (so-called) good and I don't remotely hurt anyone.

Well obviously, this isn't the case.

I push away people, esp those who shower love and concern on me. I block anyone and everyone from my closet. I avoid closeness at all costs.

The person I am, is not the Person I seem to be.

I love emptiness, darkness, Emo, Abstract, Silence, Grey shades.

I wish I hadn't hurt anyone in this process. 

And I wish, Everything goes fine with those people, Esp the Best People in my life.

I Wish.

SWINGS OF FRIENDSHIP.

A fine breezy evening. A lonely walk to the nearby park. 

I sat on the swing, loneliness seems to be overwhelming. Emptiness within me overflowing and spreading around.

I saw the empty swing beside, the usual occupant being her.

Ah, Those sound moments. Non-stop talks and silly laughs. 

I just don't understand.

After all those fights we had, How could a small fight like this. . , ummm.. what was it actually about? Damn it is true, the more we carry on a fight, the anger remains but the cause goes forgotten. What's the point of fighting now!

Whatever. She could have said the word. One word. 5 letters. How much difficult would it be.

And why am i bothered. Why am i even thinking about it.

But, Is she thinking the same way?

All the same, Is she really the girl i knew as my best friend, the girl who stood near my bedroom door twenty years back, looking at me, waiting for me to invite her over so that we could complete the toy house building set, which started the decade long friendship?

Did the four year gap change her so much?

Lot of questions kept popping up, the more i thought about it.

Nevertheless, Am i actually angry or sad? Angry, that she has blown up a small issue so big and never bothered to apologise. Sad, that I behaved more or less the same way.

Funny, How Adolescence makes us more practical and calculative. Less forgiving and cold-hearted.

I got up and started.

This is it. 

If "sorry" is what the ISSUE needed, then let me give the word, but i am just not going to give her, who means more than what the word means to me.

Ego and Pride, Screw you! Just don't make me "think" like that again.

As i reached the gate, I saw her.

"She was standing near the door, looking at me, waiting for me to invite her, which started everything. . . "

She smiled, illuminating the lamp within me again, this time with a much brighter indomitable glow.

We started walking together.

"Hey, where is the sorry you owe me?", A Voice called.

I smiled and replied, "Well, who are you? And what is that?".

WE RESPECT. WE SHARE. WE LOVE. No Give and Takes.

Well, this post may stand to justify my obsession with solitude/space, the attitude which many have felt in me as "THE ATTITUDE" which shouts "Leave me alone, I am not wasting my time with you".

May not justify, but at the same time that's how i am.

Everyone are self-centered in one way or the other, working or living for something in their life. The thing for which they want to dedicate every grey cell, every tick and tock of the clock. It is the way they express their love to life. Be it music, writing or any other hobby, sleeping, travelling, friends, Love, Family, Personal whims, Freedom, Self, Anything be it.

And that way is something that distinguishes one from the other, giving the person an unique identity and a profound love for Life. 

One of the reasons why we are much concerned about our passions and don't sacrifice for anything, It is not just intrusion of our space, but an act of stealing or in worst case, burying alive our identities, in the name of affection or call it whatsoever.

Simple try. Just imagine your most priced thing in your life, A Person or a possession, or a Feeling, or your career, something for which you have a respect for your own life. And Imagine someone offering something that will change your life in a good way though at the compensation of your possession.

I don't know about most of you out there, but i wont do it. Cos' i have already buried most of my dreams and wishes on the account of "betterment of life" words of "wisdom" "offered" by many, who have gone in my life yet the burials are engraved with my past dreams. 

Ya, those double quotes ("") for words denote sarcasm.

Life is short, Don't ask me how much, but it is better to live tomorrow with a fresh feel, than regretting about the today's undone stuff. 

And I treat others the same way. If they have a private world and they intend to block it from trespassers, I don't think that it's a good idea to jump over the fence and tread on their property just for the sake of the thrill of it or the curiosity. 

Respect one's identity. 

Share your own interests. Work together. 

Give space. Value Privacy/Secrecy.

Love exists, Not in the big words or the overrated ideals, But in every small expression we show.

A PERSISTENT DREAM. And How my blog is heading to a Crash.

I Kept bungling my mind, (Not the right word for searching wide thorough), Something like tearing apart a place and finding nothing and standing in the middle of the mess and thinking where would i have placed it.

That's exactly how i feel.

No matter how i try to keep up my blog going, yes I'm talking about BLOGGING for a change, I just couldn't.

I am devoid of substance.

Content. Something which i'm passionate about. Something that I have been pulled into. Something I like talking about. And something I'm good at and enjoy doing.

Something which is usually called as "Interests".

Some are real fortunate to have their passions as career.

And Some, still exploring the horizons.

When i started this blog, I liked talking about it and in it. I babbled about all random stuffs. Alas, Randomness maybe me but not my interest.

For a three odd year existence, a Hit it would have been, only if it had been focussed and directional.

Quite Obvious, Nobody likes straying about a maze, just to get lost and find nothing.

My Passions, No clue as of yet.

Dreams are intended to surface in reality someday or the other, Else the memories would make you feel lost, more than ever.

Got constraints or blocks in your hobbies, then there comes your sense of reasoning. Once you know that you have got it right, then make it right.

Life is too short to be walked in dead leaves. 

Memories are great, only when they are of sound moments and not of your unspoken wishes.

I kept my blog generic cos' i was and still unsure of my genre. Well come on, i can't talk of politics or society. Though i have views of my own, i feel that certain topics must be kept to yourself.

Anyways, I will keep looking for it. And as for this space, I'm happy about it's sheer existence, and on my word, I intend to make it a better place to hang out. :-)

Till then, More randomness and Much Life.