October 3, 2009
i really feel that i have lost the flow of thinking and writing process..
i could feel the friction inside my mind when i make efforts to write..
though i didnt want to take extra efforts for an inborn skill and a passion of mine and which i had and still holding a pride on being a good writer (yet not too proud to take it to my head), i didnt want to drop my passion without a try..
i had been thinking about this thought-blockage for sometime.. there must be some reason.. laziness cant possibly be a barrier to a heart-oriented passion.. and i came up with few reasons, which might be excuses also..
the break happened when i lost my granny.. she was pretty close to me and i went really down after the incident.. that might have been the reason or one of the reasons.. and i am very well aware that my thinking hasnt got organized yet..
lets see how things go.. cos there is this tag for my life, that tells about the weird and unimaginably odd things that could possibly happen in one's life..
however gotta keep it going on..
life moves on, whatsoever. . :-)
April 23, 2009
Well, the idea of this post was actually planned before the event was scheduled to happen, though the idea of the content didnt go according to the plan.
But i very well intend to write on it for a different reason.
Well,to start with, it was the 23rd apr,09,Thursday; the day that was much expected with the enthui and spirit of a cricket fan, especially across this state; the day of the IPL T20 match between chennai super kings and delhi daredevils, quoted as the great match to happen first in this season..
I, was not an exception among csk fans; and i was waiting for this match for the past few days with sky-high expectations and an indomitable faith in my team, the team i stand by and support, whatever the situation of the game or the position in the rank table be..
The day began as usual and i was acting normally, only on the outside. But on the inside.. well, you know the feelings of a hard-core fan rite.. i was burning with all the excitement and enthui of the match..even the thought of my exam next day didnt even occur for a second..
The clock struck right-angles,3pm,the scheduled time and i positioned myself near the tv set.
Wel,not 'near' actually; it was the exact position where i had sat during the prev match in which csk had won. So sticking on to the usual sentiments..
The match started and we were going field first.. the bowling attack started with Balaji. At the end of the 2nd over, the terror duo – Viru and Gambhir- were both gone..and we were having a pretty good time until Dilshan came and played a fine innings scoring 50 runs for his team.. funny, when i remember his tensed expressions on his face during the t20 match between India and SriLanka, a couple of months back.
After him, came AB de Villiers who slashed all our bowling efforts, scoring the first century of his IPL career and also of this ipl season.
- The game ended with 189 runs on scoreboard.
- The target set was 190 runs in 20overs with a required run rate of 9.5rpo.
In a single statement, it was the mission impossible.
Our batting started with Hayden and Parthiv Patel, with all hopes pinned on Mathew Hayden. And i should say, he did justice to the game and lived upto his name.
The consequences of his wicket fall were not pretty good. None stayed on pitch for more than few mins ; Raina played well and Freddie did a good job too.
But after the top order fell, all hopes were on albie morkel, who, from the start of the IPL had never let down the team and did his best on all forms of the game;
And this time too, he did his best to score runs but the batsmen on the other side were giving only a short-time support to him.
- 52 runs from 41 balls
- 49 runs from 32 balls
- 34 runs from 29 balls
Things were happening on a close call; but in the end, it didnt work out well for us.
Gony came,hit a six and walked back;
Joginder came, ran a couple of runs twice and went off;
The graph of hope resembled the ECG pulses.
I wanted to prepare myself for a loss in order to lessen the effect but at the same time i didnt wanna surrender the faith of a fan.
12 runs from 3 balls
11 runs from 2 balls
Match gone out of hands.
Lost by 10runs.
Well.. i cried..as simple as that.
3days of excitement..100% belief..
A defeat in return??!! Not fair! Jus finding it hard to take it in.
And the issue was not just about the downfall; its more about a person, who is supposed to be the pride of the side, the shining star, captain MS Dhoni.. didnt make a mark at any point of the game and his usual cool effects went un-witnessed..
Where was he???and what happened to the MSD factor??
Well..actually..where is my spirit???
I usually dont comment on what-went-wrong kinda things when the match ends in a bad way. And i never complain about anything or anyone reg the defeat, esp one of my fav players in the sports world.
Well.. the next match is scheduled on 25th against the knight riders..
At the moment, i feel like i couldnt stand any more defeats and disappointments..
But trust me..
If u talk to me about cricket after few hours, i ll be the usual crazy cric fan with spirits high on the air..
Cricket frenzy on!!
As my favourite song goes...
“push it to the limit..cos we are in it..
Work it harder.. gotta take it further.. be even better.. work together.. its now or never..“
April 21, 2009
Gazing at the moonglow,
The lone light in the pitch black darkness,
Just like a mirror of her world..
Turning back to her room,
Seeing not just the comforts shine,
But also the emptiness bloom,
Nevertheless, everything looks fine..
Her eyes fell on pinky, resting on her bed,
None great but still specially cared,
Her doll from the start,
Always close to her heart..
She wonders at her little company
things keep changing and ever seems temporary,
confusing and disappointing ways,
worthless worries filling the days,
but even after a day's pressures make the day lame,
the pinky smile remains the same..
thou' fully surrounded by illusions,
the unreal eyes and unfading smile relieves all real world tensions..
perhaps it is true that...
heart and soul makes a difference..
switching off the thoughts and emotions,
she dozed off in the regular fashion.
The next day happened,
The usual routine with the same bend,
But unaware of the day being the end,
Not to her but to her lifeless friend.
She got the real shock,not the intended surprise,
Her room modernised at a high price,
That resulted in pinky being thrown,
To somewhere seemingly unknown.
She nodded an assent,
When asked about the new present.
It was the usual night,
With moon nowhere at sight,
Her room, new and pretty,
But as always empty.
She sighed at the changes,
Only word that seem to fill the pages.
Things are always temporary,
Including her little company.
She saw the mirror and smiled,
The undisputable truth came to her mind.
Perhaps it is true that..
Smile makes quite a lot of difference..
She went back to her usual nap,
Getting accustomed to the new snap.
Days rolled by at the same pace,
But an unfading smile always filled her face.
Brighter the world seemed,
Whenever she beamed.
Thus pinky lived, not in her diaries,
But in all her smiling memories..
Perhaps it is true that..
Life happens in every slightest difference..
February 5, 2009
I made my bed neatly, a tiresome yet a good habit of mine :) , and after brushing and refreshing myself, i switched on the tv. The highlight of the previous day’s match was being telecasted. Since I missed the live one, I resolved to watch it.
Re-telecast is really different from the live one. A smile rather than yo’s, hurray's, jumpings and dancings for Indian victory moments, indifference when wickets fall, no nail-biting, cross-fingers, tears, etc. But still, victories are worth watching again. :D
After the re-telecast got over, I kept changing the channels, the thing which I usually do when there is not much of work for me to do.
The day seemed to be a converse of yesterday.
Well, yesterday was a perfect cool day to live. A full day hangout with friends.
With friends, it doesn’t really matter what you speak or think about, what you have, what time is it, etc. And no entry for worries and stuff, take diversion for boredom and seriousness. It’s all teeth and ha-ha-ha's, teases and hi-fi's, funny acts and random clickings, discrete silences and continuous chatterings, etc. and at the end of the day, the joyous feeling that the moments left you with is worth living the day a zillion times.
And today, am left with nothing but a whole day with just hours and minutes. Well, I am quite used to living both worlds – one with real friends and genuine moments and the other with my-own friend named solitude and with evergreen companions namely music and my thoughts.
And I got to mention that I am glad with both the worlds, the former making me to love life and the latter teaching me to live life.
Sometimes, the pre-programmed life seems active and perfect. But the deviating imperfections and unplanned moments that happens everyday are those that make the difference between living with days filled with action and with moments filled with experience. :)