A BLANK STATE.

It would strike midnight in few minutes. I am tired. So tired that I am unable to move a limb, or think. In search of Sleep. 

Yes. Past three days, I would have slept for a total of 5 hours. 5/36, sounds worse. Yet I am not able to make myself to get some sleep. A state, where i show a zero percent reaction. Nightmares, Confusions, Sadness, Sickness. 

Is this what they call as "Insomnia"? 

I have lot of stories going on in my mind. All a sudden dive into writing. Yet I am not strong enough to think, phrase and pen down.

I deserve the pain I am in. The pain of guilt.

I keep wondering every time as to how difficult things happen in life, since I am (so-called) good and I don't remotely hurt anyone.

Well obviously, this isn't the case.

I push away people, esp those who shower love and concern on me. I block anyone and everyone from my closet. I avoid closeness at all costs.

The person I am, is not the Person I seem to be.

I love emptiness, darkness, Emo, Abstract, Silence, Grey shades.

I wish I hadn't hurt anyone in this process. 

And I wish, Everything goes fine with those people, Esp the Best People in my life.

I Wish.