IN LOVE. . . WITH LIFE. . :-) WALKING HAND-IN-HAND WITH LIFE.

     Sitting alone, with tom 'nd Jerry running around the corners of my bed, i look outside the window. Dark and silent, Moon peeking from behind a cloud, light drizzles supposedly waiting for me to show my face, Things are the same on the surface. Just me, silence, rain, clouds, moon, music, my pen and journal, all under the same sky.

NOTE: MY PHOTOGRAPHY. :-)

     But through the lenses, the knits and ties of the pattern have changed, rather should say, Re-done.

     Forget the new-place-new-people storyline, i could feel a new-ness in myself, the perspective towards things.

     Knowing my history of hostel-escapades and home-sickness, many were quite sure that i would make a show at home or relative's place on the first weekend itself. But i suppose that one cannot say that they learnt something from life unless they act accordingly.

     Well, this time i didn't step onto the new phase with expectations.

     I knew that any dreams of any kind from my side would eventually lead to a crash of the whole journey, Not that Life would be super-smooth when i don't build clouds of how Life would go, but those dreams create a friction in my acceptance range of whatever Life comes up with.

     I had found the initial stage of my college life difficult, only cos' of the expectations i had from the same. 

     Before even i had a first vision of how my college and hostel look, i had constructed an entire picture of the four-year life, with dreams of independence in away-from-life, getting the sweetest and coolest friends on Earth, Joy and smiles filling up the days, etc. The dream happened, but after couple of years. Hence the mess during the initial steps, i couldn't be able to tolerate the slightest deviation from my fiction. The worse part was that i couldn't differentiate the reality from dreams, and half of the time i was living in some world. A hell lot of mess that was, complete credits to myself and my super-imaginative mind. 

     But things have changed. :-)


     The funniest thing is the Positivity that evolved from my Lost-Hope. I am seriously tired of getting my bigger dreams getting broken, which unfortunately doesn't stop me from dreaming, but i stopped basing my Life entirely on those dreams. 


     I would have been in a different scenario if i had followed my dreams, but i had been too scared and doubtful to do that. All i know is that i may not earn much or reach professional heights if i had gone behind my dreams, but would have mastered my career and would have been peaceful and happy.


     But the time has come to stop thinking about what would have happened. I am in a place which i have earned, inspite of it not being in the elite-dream-list, after putting up a fight and breaking the barriers.


     It is my Life now, to the core. When i stepped into this phase, i vowed to myself that whatever happens and however worse it is, i should neither complain nor regret and accept it with a strong mind.


     Well, there has been few ups and downs till date, but i am fine. Life has always more to do with, than the present ways, be it good or bad.

     There are few things that i have earned and learned in life, that i am proud of myself, Like the ability to admire simple beautiful elements, relish natural joys and fall in love with genuine souls.
And there are things that i hold close to heart that could make me keep going on in life with a confident smile of a blind hope, like my mom, my Best friend Jo, My close friends, music, photography, writing, my thoughts and dreams, rain, etc.

     On a finishing note, 


Well, things may get screwed up and at times,life may seem to go unfocussed and vague, and you may feel like walking in a dark maze, 
     But trust your heart and mind, Let the light within your eyes lead you.


     Life ends, only when we give up. Find the joy and beauty in small things around you and illuminate the days with your smile.


     Rather than walking in life, Walk hand-in-hand with Life. :-)
          

                                                        

THE NAME FANTASIES - MY NAME MEANS MEE. . .

     A few days back, i was G-chatting with this new e-friend of mine. 

     She said that i have a cute name, to which i made a partial-modest reply. Yes, Partial-modest. 

I don't think i am modest but then, i have been hearing a lot of stop-being-modest comments lately that i am consciously trying to keep off the modest part, and ultimately ending up giving a partial-diplomatic, partial-humble and partial-funny reply. Anyways, that's not the subject. 

     I replied her, "My name sounds cute alright, but that's just my nicky" and told her my complete proper name, Vinithra.

     She was like, Ohhhh...(A long thoughtful one) Nice name (after a long thought, but not fully satisfied with the word 'nice'). Mmmm, Different actually (Finally, coming to a conclusion). 

     But she seemed to start liking my name. (God Promise, i didn't publicize or colorize the font) 

     She said in a dreamy tone, "Wish i had that name. There are two margarets in my class itself. Not an issue but it would be nice to stand up uniquely to your name call". I just told her that names don't make a big difference and that she has a sweet name and that i was glad that she liked my name.

     Uh.. Oh. Wait a minute. Did i say that names don't matter much? 

     There have been many times where i picture myself with different names, Countless wishes of having a different name. But i don't mind sharing my name with someone, who knows, We might be sharing some common interests too and we might become great friends through our same-name-factor.

Anyways,

     Mine is not a totally common name. Just that you don't get to hear much, And obviously totally new to English people.

     There are few things that hold me back from falling in love with my name. 

A big con. BIG CON. It starts with V.

(I could sense your angry look).

     Well, As a school-going kid. I wished badly and daily to have a name that starts with A, So that i get to stand as the first person in a queue while going on local trips to museum and library, the first name in attendance and get called first everytime, the first name for the teachers and students to remember through everyday attendance-calls, first to take the first post as class monitor, or first to take up some responsibility on first day of school, or to get to sit on the first bench, or. . . 

Yeah, the usual school kid's thrills. 

     The A-wish went on for a while, till my high-schooling i suppose.

     But Name-wish continued.

     My name is actually one of the many names of Goddess Saraswati, Indian God of Knowledge. Kinda proud of that. Ignoring that, well there are names which makes people to say wow-sweet-name genuinely, without the courtesy-force of passing the same compliment.

There are names that sound powerful and cool and enticing, and names that are lovable and cute. 

     Sometime back, i remember that i was wishing for a name, the person being cute and loved by all her friends, And who attracted the attention of someone close-to-heart, the small possessiveness factor.

     But when i think about it, And a lot of After-thoughts through years,

     My friends like my name, or rather i think it is because it is mine. I don't think that it would matter much to them even if i had any of the names i wished for, and nothing would have changed much, except for the way they would have nick-named me. 

     Moreover, except for the way i would have felt about my name, no other difference i would have seen.

     Afterall, names that have a meaning, color, tone, flavour or a history behind, not necessarily would add meaning to life. 

     Maybe, when we create history our names would get added to the ELITE list.

     One of my close friends from college said that she found my name different and new when she heard it first, but now the common names that sound like mine seem new to her. L-O-L! 

Only a step difference in taking a liking for you, the instant when your name is said and the moment immediately after that instant. 

     The whole post may sound new to you (Like my name), or something that you heard from someone or felt yourself long back, but sure got my thinking-s. 

     Well, I may or may not be completely convinced, but i kinda like my name, no issues. 

     All the same, the admiration for names continue. . . . 

     Some of the names that made me go WOW! 

     - Pooja, Heera, Henna, Sanjana, Jiah, Sarah, Samantha, Hannah, Ann, Sheena, Joanne, Catherine, . . . . 

And many Shakespearean names like Viola, Ariel, Miranda, Celia, Adriana, Helena,. . . (No, Not Juliet, Never a fan of Tragedy, Especially a romantic tragedy)

And Mythical ones like Ariel, Heidi, Cindrella, Aurora, Marigold,. . . . . . .

     So, Ever felt not-so-fine with your name and wished or got ideas to change it? had any name crushes? Name a name or two that attracted you and got your liking instantly?