THE CONJECTURE ON PURPOSE OF SURVIVAL.

I would have planned a million things, tried a billion ways and failed a zillion times, all before something that was considered to be illogical would decide the direction in which i should walk further in life.

Well, don't bother asking me if i feel like a clown dancing to the wrong tunes. Cos' I don't.

The real challenge lies in walking on the unplanned path, with your head held high and eyes appreciating the beauty around.

Life doesn't actually stop when you trip down. It may slow down a bit, but does not stop. However it does, when you stop moving.

I have got so much used to MOVING ON in Life, that those who are finding it difficult and those who have a constancy and normalcy in life have started to criticise me of being abnormal and rude, disrespectful as I don't give the due respect to the issue in concern.

Funny. When people ever gonna respect the concept of Destiny. Or for the Practical minds, Self-Made Choices.

A BLANK STATE.

It would strike midnight in few minutes. I am tired. So tired that I am unable to move a limb, or think. In search of Sleep. 

Yes. Past three days, I would have slept for a total of 5 hours. 5/36, sounds worse. Yet I am not able to make myself to get some sleep. A state, where i show a zero percent reaction. Nightmares, Confusions, Sadness, Sickness. 

Is this what they call as "Insomnia"? 

I have lot of stories going on in my mind. All a sudden dive into writing. Yet I am not strong enough to think, phrase and pen down.

I deserve the pain I am in. The pain of guilt.

I keep wondering every time as to how difficult things happen in life, since I am (so-called) good and I don't remotely hurt anyone.

Well obviously, this isn't the case.

I push away people, esp those who shower love and concern on me. I block anyone and everyone from my closet. I avoid closeness at all costs.

The person I am, is not the Person I seem to be.

I love emptiness, darkness, Emo, Abstract, Silence, Grey shades.

I wish I hadn't hurt anyone in this process. 

And I wish, Everything goes fine with those people, Esp the Best People in my life.

I Wish.