A Broken Feather, And With it I would Write a Love Song.

Scuba Diving!

If I hadn't gotten  myself into certain commitments, who knows, I might have gone exploring the lost sunken worlds in oceans, and measuring the depths of Blue Universe. Commitments, something which we tend to avoid at all costs, for the Fear of responsibilities. Though unknowingly, we tend to drag many to ourselves.

I remember this girl from my school. Her entire Life then revolved around a single word, Dance. But her life didn't quite turn out the way which many, almost all of them who knew her back then, had envisioned.

Life keeps changing. Unpredictable moments come and go by. Diverted journeys. Lost people. Misleading views. Confusing mirages. 

One of the favourite conversations that i pick up with people is getting them to casually talk about their forgotten lives. It is something which i could share in common with anybody in the world. A Broken wing.

Their indefinite love for the same would be much evident in the way they start expressing themselves. Some sort of Trance. But before they finish talking about it, they fear of regret and losing the cool would cloud their minds.

Bird-Watch, NL.

Well, all of us have some regret, And it is certainly not the mistake of ourselves or any of the decisions we made.

It is actually Human Nature. 

I'm unsure of terming it with an apt word. (Suggestions welcome.) We could for now describe as Curiosity coupled with a positive imagination. Confused right? 

Here is the thing. We are never wholly satisfied with our present, and we try to ponder over our past as to where we had taken the turn that landed us here, And analyse the alternate turns and the differences it would have made.

Funnily, Our optimistic mind comes into action, imagining the best situation, probably with a high presence of the one or few things amiss the current reality.

Sometimes, I find myself regretting on Life. And Sometimes, Letting things happen in the "destined" way without much concern on practicality. But then, I suppose, Whatever happens, We must be self-forgiving, patient, and Strong to keep walking on.

As for the girl, I am unaware of her inner feelings, though she has managed to survive the broken dream, lost love and a regretful decision. And the best thing, she still wears the million dollar smile on her face.

Now that's what I would call INSPIRING!

Long way to go. Inner Joy helps.

Find Happiness and Joy in everyday Life, Cos' this Life is also a "Positive Dream", the dream of the Turn we really took.

I ROCK! YOU ROCK! HE ROCKS! SHE ROCKS! LET"S SCALE HEIGHTS WITH OUR WINGS!

"Look here she is. You should learn to be like her. Ask her how she studied and what she does in her free-time."

Two of my aunts, along with my mom, were pointing out to me and telling a kid cousin of mine.

     I was standing there and was

- Proud. Happy. Cool. Confident. King. Wow.

     Err. Wait. This was not the feel. Let's rewind a bit.

     I was standing there and was, well looking totally blank, with only one thing running on my mind, "Oh God, Not this. :-("

     The scenario took me some years backward, where i had been at similar scenes, but not as the indexed-model.

     Let me tell you a short story about a kid girl, who just had her knowledge of understanding things illuminated.

     Though she excelled well in academics and learnt and performed various arts, and however talented and top favourited, she was constantly put under comparisons and degrading comments by few people close to her. "You should be like A (Why names, when they are not the main characters)", "Learn from B", "You should follow the steps of C" and many such lines are what she heard on a daily basis.

     Did she mind? Nah, Not much. All she made out from the repeated lines was that she was no good when compared to A, B and C. And moreover, she was too young to recognize and be aware of the ill-effects of such comments that were gonna make a bigger impact in future.

     The worst turn that could happen then was her being sent to a new place and admitted in a new school and asked to reside with A, B and C.

     And to top it all, it was the start of her teenage, the age when the personality and character of a person goes through tests and modulations and changes.

     Well, nothing bad or seriously hard did happen, but then she had been already inflicted with the worse.

     Whatever that had happened, however silly it had been, whoever had done it for fun and wherever it had gotten into, she took the wrong side of things, felt depressed and dejected, made things worse for herself and ended up killing every single remaining spirit within her and never once let the frustrations out.

     

     All she felt for herself were low self-esteem, isolation and abstraction and depression.

     All she had for others were ego, jealousy and hatred. She felt her own self into pieces.

     Well, she went through a tough time and through a series of realizations and acceptance, before she became a much better person.

     Back to the starting point,

I don't understand why many parents and many others want their children to be a photocopy of some other successful person, without having even a glance at the uniqueness and potential both as a person living a wonder and as an artist with a different love and choice for colors making a masterpiece.

     They may not know the real impact of "comparisons" nor they would accept the existence of such an issue. 

     There is neither a solution to the wide-spread abstract issue, nor do i possess a power with which i could swish my wand and change the mentality of the people inflicting innocent kids or the negativity of the affected kids.

     Well, my aunt asked me to talk and "advise" my kid cousin. So they asked and so will they get.

     I called the kid aside and told her that she is an equally good person as me or anyone else and asked her to have a dream and work hard for it in her own way and feel the pleasure. After-all it is not the destination that gives meaning to life, but the journey that adds the color and flavour to life.

     Now for the suggestion. . . No, advice. . Rather, a request. . Or further more, An order . . Nah, Let's term it as a MISSION!

     You may not be the causal factor of such an issue, as i feel my readers are people who value individuality, but you can very well have a good hand in the effect of it.

     If you witness such a scene where you see a kid being degraded or criticised, Just tell the kid how much the world needs her own unique light by her own ways.

     You may also talk to the seniors about it, not letting themselves and others influence their wonderful kids.

     Well, As you would have easily guessed, it is obvious that the little girl in the story above is ME.

I narrated as third person, cos'. . No, Not cos' wanting to jump from behind you and shout "Boo! It's me!" and giving you a surprise. . . i could relate the character only to the person whom i had been before, not who am i now. I won't say that i had been a mess before, i would rather say that i am now a better person and will be a much better person.

I will pen down later about me becoming the architect, building myself at every step. But for now,

     Let's develop the positivity in air and pass it on to the world by joining hands!

                                   

 

SOMETIMES. . .

Sometimes, and many a times,

You feel hurt, You could feel the disappointment within yourself raising within.

You want to cry out loud, Yet you don't hear your own voice.

You want to be listened and consoled, Yet you think that none could understand you.

You feel left out and segregated, Yet you feel that you don't belong to the normal world.

You feel angry and irritated often, Yet you don't have a way to control.

You are desperate and helpless, Yet you don't see anyone who could help.

   Well, i would say, ENOUGH OF THIS!

   I know that many can relate this to themselves, and i admit honestly that i am one such person. I have a lot of instances where i had felt that i have reached the end. But there are few people, i would say God-sent, who help me, should say KICK me out of such attitude. I have few friends, who make sure that i don't give up or become hopeless and that i stay positive, and my Bestie, who diverts my mind at all times. And there is Me, who think that challenges can be tried and difficulties can be crossed, since it is a way to feel the real happiness and also who don't want to disappoint the minds that care and hearts that love.

Now, Time to tell few keys to note, and hopefully try impress them in mind, for the betterment of oneself.

#1:First and foremost, There is nothing to feel unique or special about yourself cos' of such "sometimes" feel. This is how the EGO of your depression creeps in.

#2:Anger and tears don't go a long way. You either end up losing your loved ones through anger or your own sane mind through tears.

#3:Understand yourself. Start trusting and motivating yourself. When you don't feel good about yourself, don't expect anything from anyone else. All you deserve and will get is sympathy. True Friends give you a sharp slap (not literally) to make you move on.

#4: These are times when you miss out the vision and voice of true love and care and  your mind searches specifically only for negativity. Blame yourself if you feel negative, not the world. 

#5: THE IMPORTANT!! You may fail N number of times and You may be put to slanders and criticisms, Just ignore and move on with your inner self-confidence. You become a LOSER, not when others think bad of you but when you have given up on youself.

   I am not THE-PERFECT-OPTIMIST. I had felt such things and i might feel negative in future too. And my mood swings are highly variable. But i just know one thing, I will survive at all costs. 

   This writing is dedicated for friends who wants to move on in life no-matter-what and for myself who has to remember that words said are words done. :-) 

Dream. Live. Cherish.