the feel of monotony..

there are these times when the feeling of emptiness gets inside my head..and this void feel is really bugging..
it has nothing to do with the daily schedule or activities. it is totally different..you may be doing different things in different places in altogether different environments but the internal environment in your head(or heart) is the same blank one..
it is based on how i really feel every second, regardless of what i am really doing, be it talking with people or watching tv or chatting online or etc..but the silence or blankness inside is the same and never-changing..
well..i am not sure whether it is due to boredom or difficulties in life..whether it is supposed to be positive or nogative or even neutral..and also what it feel really is..
null..void..blank..constant..isolation..empty..are the words for it..
by the way..what does the word "it" specify throughout the post???? :O :P

THE "UNREASONABLE" REASONS. .

"there are reasons behind everything that happens;

and there must be reasons behind every actions of ours".

universal thought i suppose. but i got to know of a better than the best "thought-replacement" for the latter part when i attended a workshop(kind of personality development) where they said that we must not underline our actions/decisions with reasons..

might sound a bit weird; but it sure includes a more practical concept rather than a philosophical one..

reasons are not always global;most of them are user-defined; hence the actions based upon these reasons might not result in the pre-planned way, which leads to disappointment and discouragement..

earlier i used to think that hostel life was more fun and lot cooler [before my hostel life ofcourse ;)] and i had my reasons.

few were: 1. free from mom's scoldings

2. end of curfew rules

3. a feel of responsibility,doing all the maintenance works on my own.. and many more..

but when my hostel life started, things were different..

1. it is really difficult to get used to scoldings and advices from strangers..unless they are from parents

2.responsibility..huh!! leave me out of this one; and maintenance..god!!one hell my room was.

3.and finally..rules everywhere and in everything..

thus,all my reasons came crashing down.. and all i did was to grit my teeth when faced with the damned rules, group moans and complaints and weekend escapes to gran's place..

not a memorable experience..

but some of my friends are really fine with hostel life even after two years..and that must be only because they considered hostel just as a boarding place to study, unlike me who had reasons for choosing hostel life among other alternatives..

just a real-time example..

to be without reasons has deeper reasons actually..

making decisions..just because u think it is the right way to do and not for some existing facts..

liking someone and being friends..just because u choose to do and not for any other reasons..

there might be lot of reasons to cry, to fight, to misunderstand, to go to depressions, etc.. but instead..

why dont we just smile, understand and accept, feel positive, and spread peace and happiness..without a single reason..

sounds heavenly..rite!! without any reasons. . :)